Tag Archives: sleep

A letter to myself when I became a mum…

March 8, 2013

Dear me

I know you are tired and confused and sore and feeling a bit lost but I promise you it will get better. I know you are feeling unsure about your ability to be a mum, about whether you are ready for the responsibility of being a mum and looking after your brand new baby girl – at times it will be a tough journey but being a mum will make you the happiest you have ever been.

The reality of having a baby is so different from your expectations and you can feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility on your shoulders – it is early days, your hormone levels are still all over the place and you are tired and sore from giving birth.

Breastfeeding hurts and you didn’t expect it to be this hard but, this too, will ease and I hope you can focus on the positives – your baby is feeding and well, you just don’t have any support to know what is normal. Stick at it because you will enjoy it.

I know Alice can’t be put down anywhere yet – relax and go with all the cuddles. You are both getting to know each other and you both need this – sit back and chill and rest with your baby. Don’t feel that you have to get up and keep busy, don’t feel that you have to teach your baby to settle in her moses basket when all she wants is you, don’t battle with your instincts.

And, finally, you are co-sleeping because Alice she won’t settle at night and you feel like a failure because you think that a good mum knows how to get her baby to settle by herself but she needs to be close to you and, right now, you need to be close to her too. Trust your instincts, do what feels right for you and Alice and stop battling with what feels right because life will be a little easier and you will be less anxious when you do.

Eventually you will realise and accept that you don’t have all the answers – no parent does – and that some days are magical and some days are shit. Enjoy the great ones and write off the bad ones because you are only human and there’s always tomorrow and chocolate!

Love me

X

Posted by Janine Rudin in Baby Tags: new baby, new mum, sleep, tired

1 comment

Lack of sleep in pregnancy

March 4, 2013

Sleep deprivation doesn’t just affect us when our babies are here – it strikes in pregnancy as well…

I remember all too well…

the dreams – chances are we remember more of our dreams in pregnancy because, for many of us, our sleep is disturbed more often and we wake up after our dreams.The Babycentre website has some great pages about dreaming in pregnancy:

First Trimester
Second Trimester
Third Trimester
End of Pregnancy

the constant need for a wee – there’s not a lot of room for wee when there’s a growing baby putting pressure on your bladder. And I remember the frustration of waddling to the loo several times a night, only to need to dribble
the crampy legs – your tired legs take the strain in the second and third trimester, so they can seize up at night. Drink plenty of water throughout the day, gentle calf stretches may help, along with taking a bath before bed. Treat yourself to some massage treatments too – it could make all the difference.You may need to get out of bed and walk around to ease the leg cramps and if you are concerned about them – mention them to your midwife.
the need to constantly change position to get comfy – try to lie on your left-side because this will help your baby stay in a good position and it helps the blood flow to the placenta, and your kidneys to rid your body of fluids and waste products.Use pillows to between your knees and under your bump to ease the pressure on your hip and pelvic muscles and joints.
If you wake up on your back, turn onto your left side again. You can also try using pillows to stop yourself from lying on your back.

and just being wide awake at 3am! – your mind can ping into action, especially in the third trimester. If you are just lying there but sleep isn’t coming, you could use this time to make those lists of things to do, you could potter about, read, or use your breathing to help calm your mind and encourage sleep to come.

Continuous lack of sleep can make us feel exhausted and run-down so you may need to look at where you can get a nap, having an early night when you can, think about whether work is causing any stress and tiredness – I have had clients who have left work slightly earlier that they expected to because of the need to rest and ease stress.

What can help?

Come to Relax & Breathe to learn simple relaxation techniques.
Pregnancy Pilates and Pregnancy Yoga can also help
Book yourself in for a Pregnancy Massage
Don’t forget the simple stuff, which is often overlooked – try to eat well and drink plenty of water.
If you have any concerns about you or your baby – talk to your midwife
If you are feeling anxious about the birth of your baby – talk to me

Mum-Baby sleep research

February 1, 2013

The Durham University Parent-Infant Sleep Lab are currently looking for parents to take part in a sleep study looking at how mums and babies behave during the night when using bed-side cots.

The study will involve an overnight stay in the Sleep Lab and night-time video will be used to record how mums and their babies sleep and behave when using a bedside cot.

The Lab needs mums with babies who are under 20 weeks old and the aim of the study is to find out how bedside cots are used.

To find out more about taking part in this study you can email the Lab: sleep.lab@dur.ac.uk

And it is well worth having a wander through their website for some brilliant evidence-based information about baby sleep

Posted by Janine Rudin in Baby, sleep Tags: baby, sleep

How can you benefit from a postnatal doula?

July 13, 2012

As a postnatal doula, I can provide parents with additional support and reassurance and the service I provide is individually tailored to each family. I can help with feeding, with sleep, I am there to listen, to provide information about baby behaviour and patterns and what to realistically expect from your young baby. I can tidy around the house and I can take your baby out for a walk to give you the opportunity to rest and sleep. The service is affordable and flexible so if you feel like you need some additional support, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Posted by Janine Rudin in birth&babynetwork, doula Tags: baby, breastfeeding, Doula, sleep

Safe co-sleeping

May 18, 2012

Safe co-sleeping

Did you know that about half of all babies co-sleep with their parents by the time they are 3 months old? And on any given night a fifth of all UK babies spend at least part of the night c0-sleeping with one or both of their parents. (www.isisonline.org.uk)

This is despite co-sleeping being a frowned upon and considered a ‘dangerous’ practice in western society.

Some babies will happily sleep and settle in their Moses Basket or cot but if your baby doesn’t, you can be left feeling frustrated and exhausted and, if you know your baby will settle next to you in bed, chances are this is what is going to happen just so you can get some peace and some well deserved sleep.

According to the Infant Sleep Information Source (ISIS), the most common reason for co-sleeping is breastfeeding. 70-80% of breastfed babies will sleep next to their mother at some point during those early months.

Co-sleeping is a very personal issue – and almost a bit of a taboo subject! It is something that has to be right for you and safe for your baby. If you are bringing your baby into bed with you, you need to make sure that where they sleep is safe, so make sure:

Your mattress is firm – if it’s saggy it’s not safe
Your baby can’t fall out of bed or get trapped
You keep your baby away from pillows
Your baby doesn’t go underneath your quilt
your bedding cannot cover your baby’s head
you don’t leave your baby alone in your bed
you or your partner do not smoke, are not drunk or under the influence of drugs

A 2009 study found that in 99% of cases, there was at least one risk factor present – in 75% of cases it was cigarette use by the mother and in 42% of cases either mum or dad had been drinking alcohol.

The benefits of co-sleeping

It can be much easier to breastfeed your baby – as your baby snuggles up next to you; he has greater access to his food, which means he thrives.
It means less disturbed nights for you and your baby – your baby may not properly wake up so he is easier to settle, which means you aren’t pacing the floor either!
It makes up for any lost touch between mum and baby during the day, especially if mum returns to work. Just because this connection happens during sleep, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t count! This extra touch can also be needed when your baby is teething, not well, experiencing a growth spurt or a developmental change because they often need more comfort and reassurance during these times.
You are meeting the needs of you and your baby if it is what you both want and need to feel settled and easier to sleep

Biological Factors of co-sleeping

A baby who is snuggled up to his mum is the basic way of keeping babies warm and safe.
Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone.
Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS.
Co-sleeping babies grow up with a higher self-esteem, less anxiety, become independent sooner

Resource: www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/scientific-benefits-co-sleeping

Sofa-sharing is not co-sleeping

Due to all the confusion and negative messages about the safety of co-sleeping, many new parents ask about and end up sleeping on the sofa or in an armchair. They may do this deliberately or fall asleep there when feeding their baby.

The research tells us that sleeping on a sofa or in a chair with your baby is hazardous because babies are at a greater risk of being suffocated. According to ISIS: “The sofa is the only sleep environment in which SIDS deaths have increased in recent years, up from 6% in 1993-9 to 16% in 2003-6. This represents an increase from 24-42 deaths per year.”