Birth & Baby Network

I saw this on Facebook and I wanted to share it because I’m pretty sure it’s how most of us feel at some point in the day!

Wonderful feedback needs sharing and this fantastic email sums up exactly why I developed my Relax & Breathe for Labour sessions - the breathing is so simple and it works because women feel stronger, calmer and in control.

The sessions are relaxing and chilled and they provide simple skills to stay focused – which can be vital in every labour, from the straightforward to more complicated births that move away from the birth plan…

I just wanted to say a huge big thank you to you for being so great!!  Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since I gave birth at the RVI.

I attended the relax and breathe workshop in December – it was the best thing I could have done and I don’t think thank you really conveys what you gave me – but thank you!  My plan went out of the window due to some unexpected bleeding so no pool but I managed to get to 10cms with just my TENS machine and my breathing – blowing bubbles!! I just kept remembering what we had practised and anytime I didn’t have control of my breathing I just thought ‘bubbles’!!

My husband was very impressed with how I coped and I do believe it had great deal to do with the preparation you helped us with. So thank you, thank you, thank you

Relax and Breathe Workshops run at the RVI every month (Friday, 6.30-8pm, £20)

Relax & Breathe courses run in North Shields every month (3 x Thursdays, 6-7.30pm, £25)

For more information you can call me on 0788 577 4279 or email me at:  janine@birthbasics.co.uk

 In those first few hours and days…

OMG you have had a baby, and it needs YOU! And chances are you feel like you really haven’t got a clue what to do. How do I feed him? Is he feeding enough? Why is he crying? Why won’t he sleep? Is he sleeping too much? Why does he only want to sleep on me, what’s wrong with the Moses Basket? Repeat, repeat, repeat until you start crying and reach for the wine.

What do you need to help during this time? You might feel that you need a solution, that you need rescuing, that you need some control among the new chaos. The chances of that happening are slim because, unfortunately you have to live it and learn to cope because it will get easier and you will adapt to the new responsibilities that can overwhelm you at the start.

Tips for sanity:

• Take it easy – rest, eat and drink
• Cuddle your baby and see what comes naturally
• Ask for help or just ignore the household chores
• Support each other
• If you need support with breastfeeding, seek it out because it really can make all the difference – you have your midwife, you can contact the La Leche League, or use a postnatal doula

 

In the first few days and weeks…

Don’t be surprised if you haven’t fallen into a routine yet, if life is chaotic and you feel like you are lurching from day to night and back again in a haze. You have made it through the first few days but now your partner is heading back at work and now it’s down to you.

It can feel isolating and daunting to take your baby out on your own because you can feel worried about being able to feed your baby and changing his nappy while you are out, what if he cries because what will people think of you, will you be judged on your ability as a parent?

Tips for sanity:

In addition to the above five tips,

• Find places you can go with your baby to meet other mums
  Ask your health visitor for information about drop-ins and places to go
  Check out the Birth & Baby Network drop-in
  If you have friends with babies, meet up with them and ask them where they go

• Give yourself some time to find your feet you may just need some support in these early weeks, somewhere to go where you will be listened to and where you won’t be judged. It can be trial and error in the beginning but there is a lot going on out there so, chances are, you will find something that feels right for you.

• Small groups can be ideal initially, as your confidence grows.
  Wednesday Natter
  Confident Mums & Baby Massage

• You will have days when you feel lost and confused but you will also have days when you feel like it has all clicked into place

• It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!

 

A friend recently sent me Monty Python’s Birth sketch and I have been umming and aahhing about posting it because it could be too close to the truth for some mums. But I have decided to post it because it does depict how birth can be treated. It makes me smile and shake my head at the same time…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcHdF1eHhgc&feature=player_embedded

Let me know your thoughts

For some women, this is the only place to be – to labour and birth in their own environment, to feel relaxed and calm and to enable labour to flow.

Who can have a homebirth?

According to the Department of Health, women who are healthy, with healthy pregnancies and healthy babies are the ideal candidates for a homebirth because they are classed at low-risk of complications. However, even if you don’t match the ‘ideal’ criteria, you can still choose a homebirth but you may need to weigh up the potential risks by talking your situation through with your midwife and consultant.

If you would like to book a homebirth, just tell your community midwife during one of your antenatal appointments and she will make the arrangements. If you are considered high-risk, your midwife will refer you to a consultant to talk over your options.

What happens during a homebirth?

Your midwife will come out to you when you call to say you are in labour. If you are not in established labour, your midwife will leave you to progress in peace, and will come back when you need more support. This can be ideal because it saves you a journey to the hospital and you can continue to stay relaxed, which can encourage labour to flow.

For most of your labour, you will have one midwife with you and she will call another midwife for extra support when the birth of your baby is close.

What if I change my mind?

You can change your mind at anytime, in pregnancy or in labour. If a homebirth no longer seems the right option for you, you can go to hospital instead.

What if I need to go to hospital?

Your midwife will be monitoring you and your baby for any signs of labour moving away from ‘normal’. If she is unsure about how your labour is developing or about how your baby is handling the contractions, she may suggest a transfer to the hospital.

Thankfully, true emergencies in childbirth are rare and transfers into hospital are mainly due to a need for more pain relief or because labour is progressing slowly. Your midwife will arrange for an ambulance to take you to hospital.

Pain relief

The gas & air (entonox) cylinders will be delivered to your house and your midwife will bring along the equipment needed to use it. You can use gas & air throughout your labour.

You can also hire a birthing pool to use as additional pain relief and a  TENS machine can also be hired to use in labour.
www.washables.co.uk

Is it safe?

According to a large Dutch study in 2009, a pregnant woman who is classified as being low-risk, giving birth at home is as safe as doing so in hospital with a midwife.

www.news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7998417.stm

How many women have a homebirth?

According to the Royal College of Midwives, more women want to book a homebirth than actually have homebirths. It could be a combination of fear, lack of support and medical issues that prevents more women from booking a homebirth.

Birthchoice UK states that:

• in Wales about four in every 100 births are at home
• in England about three in every 100 births are at home
• in Scotland, about one in every 100 births is at home
• in Northern Ireland, fewer than one in 200 births is at home

How do I prepare my home?

You really don’t need to do very much at all…

• some parents like to use some plastic sheeting to protect their floor and furniture, others will just use some old newspaper and sheets
• if you want a birth pool, you can hire one and have it ready to use when you are in labour
• have a dressing down or blanket handy, in case you feel cold
• A couple of buckets or plastic containers can be useful, in case you need to be sick
• A desk light, so your midwife can check for any tears after your baby is born
• Bin bags to quickly clear away rubbish and dirty linen after you have had your baby
• Baby clothes and a blanket, which can be kept warm on a radiator
• Food and drink – for you, your birth partner and for your midwives to snack on
• Candles to create a relaxing environment to birth in

For more information:

• www.homebirth.org.uk
• janine@birthbasics.co.uk

Your comments

• My main desire for homebirth was to be in my own bed snuggling with my daughter and hubs as soon as possible and not having hub sent away and leaving us alone. I ended up needing a hospital tranfer but everything was fine and went very smoothly and I was home very quickly afterward I would definately do it again though

• I always wanted a home birth. My Mum had me and my brothers at home, so it felt normal. I hate the bright lights and the high beds and hard floors in the hospital, convienient to clean, but not great for labouring on all 4′s! The Newcastle midwives were brilliant, I had 2 at both labours and it was a fantastic and positive experience.
  
• I planned a homebirth for both of my births. #1 I transferred in after a very long 2nd stage. I was out again within two hours and we came home and went to bed together – a family of three )
  #2 was at home in water – only 20 minutes after the MW arrived. Pretty perfect actually )
  For me, home is the default place to give birth. I’m confident in my body to birth and MWs to support that. If I/baby needed extra help, I trust the MWs to recognise that in plenty of time.

• I had the most amazing home water birth. Relaxed, beautiful. A memory I will always treasure.

• I had two straightforward and uneventful home water births. I would encourage women to make an educated decision but basically give birth wherever they feel comfortable. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t convinced of the experience of the midwives and the fact that the hospital was very very close